Wait so I’m not just supposed to just slap it on the side and say, “Ayup, that’s a good’n alright”?
This feels like one of those things that sounds really reasonable but is, in fact, complete bullshit.
I don’t know about all of it, but a heavy watermelon is well watered and more likely to be sweet since it’s had the resources to put tons of energy into growing all season. The same principle works for finding good citrus, you want something that feels heavy for its size.
‘Heavy is reliable’ - Boris, Snatch (2000) Heavy is reliable
Boris the Blade? As in… Boris the bullet dodger?
Why do they call him the bullet dodger?
Because he dodges bullets, Avi.
Or it only applies to this specific one breed.
At a specific time of year, in a specific part of the country.
Located entirely within your kitchen.
May I see it?
Buys watermelon, looks inside. It’s watery.
I hate almost all watermelon and other fruits in the squash family. Similar to cilantro and soap, there is a lesser known bitter chemical that I’m a supertaster of. I can taste if a slice of cucumber is dipped in a gallon of water. Love pickles, however, as cooking destroys the chemical. Those fake-ass refrigerated cucumbers in vinegar sold as premium pickles can suck my balls, especially when a restaurant puts them on a sandwich.
Yellow meat moon and star watermelons don’t have this chemical, btw.
Anyhow, grew up farming. The thump test is the superior test for melons. There’s a note they ring at that means a properly ripe and sugary melon, can’t explain it. My wife has me pick out melons for her and the kids. Everything else is mostly superstition or unreliable like field spots. I can consistently pick a good melon or warn if I can’t find a good one.
It’s in German but still
ich🍈iel
The most consistent one for me is knocking on it with my knuckle, if it sounds more hollow than the others then its good
