I was distracted watching TV. Both my sinus nasal spray and vape were on the table.

I realized I was congested and needed the spray. As a heavy smoker, I am used to grabbing my device mindlessly all day.

So I picked up the vape and proceeded to stick it up my nose because my brain mixed up what I was doing.

I laughed really hard.

My babysitter showed me Critters (in secret) when I was 5. Rather than be scarred, she turned me into a avid horror fan. I saw all the 80’s classics when I was way too young for them thanks to HBO and Cinemax.

None phased me.

Laughably, what finally got me was so mild. In Poltergeist 2 or 3, there’s a scene where the kid’s reflection no longer mimics his own movements. It’s not even the scare, but rather the set-up.

I started staring at mirrors when I was alone, just waiting for my reflection to break into a sinister smile. My fear was, when it did, what would I do? No adult would believe me. Mirrors are unavoidable. Something supernatural would be after me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to pull off some “final girl” shit IRL.

They literally look sloppy unless they feel too tight. I aim for about a 15% reduction in blood flow to my brain; then I know I’m looking sharp.

Ok, I’m old and this wasn’t a computer prank but it’s along the same lines.

I used to have a digital watch that functioned as a small universal remote. (It looked like an 80’s calculator watch with tiny numbers.)

You did have to program it with the universal code for that brand, but my middle school had bought their TVs in bulk, so the ones permanently mounted in the rooms were all identical models.

I simply programmed my watch to that model, and I’d occasionally keep turning the TV on during a lesson. I did it fairly infrequently, and always in different classes so as not to give myself away.

I never got caught. Back then Tvs only went to channel 100-120ish without special equipment for satellites. If they went higher I would have LOVED to keep changing it to channel 666 to freak people out.