Huh, I was wondering why 10% of our patrons disappeared overnight. It’s normal for a drop-off at the start of the month but not normally such a large one

Oh the number of times I’ve burned myself during a nozzle change on my 3D printers, lol.

I dig the stand but this probably isn’t the best angle for the case, it looks like someone handled your headphones with chocolate on their hands. I’m guessing it looks better from the side? Either way, I hope you’re enjoying your setup!

An old girlfriend was back in town and she wanted to take some pictures of us playing around for her OnlyFans. After we had done the deed she handed me her phone & told me to pick my favorite pictures & send them to myself. Turns out she has a coworker with the same first name as me & I wasn’t paying attention due to the afterglow…

I’ve also got a fun one like that from working security!

I was working the solo overnight shift during Christmas break at a factory & noticed a gift-wrapped cylinder sitting in one of the common areas. I picked it up to bring to the lost and found & decided to see if there was a name tag or something. Well, there wasn’t a nametag, but there were a few wires poking out that made me realize I was possibly holding a pipe-bomb.

I called 911 while freaking the fuck out and was told to stay calm and very still while they sent someone to save my sorry ass. After about 30 minutes the Michelin Man’s blue cousin strides in, asks me a few questions, & decides it would be safe enough to take the Christmas gift from hell outside to deal with.

While the bomb was being taken care of I took a few cops to the security room to download all of the footage from the past few days. Turns out the gift-wrapped grenade was juuuust out of the cameras view & there was no way to tell exactly when it had been left there.