Yeah, I’d totally drive a non-taxi labeled version of that! That looks awesome!

Wait…who is driving? Oh no bear is driving! How can this be??? Show me the money! Oh no!

In what world do you live where billionsires face actual consequences?

Worst case scenario, Meta pays a small fine, and doesn’t even blink. The day just goes on.

Nintendo LITERALLY invented that concept with Super Mario AllStars on the SNES.

C’mon. It’s not that hard. You’re making the assumption that Andy Stone is telling the truth, with a gotchya astrict.

What if…the big business just…LIES???

Your name makes me thing of a giant sentient noodle flying through space and devouring the corpses of the innocent

There are some games which compete for your money. There are some which compete for your time.

This game competes for neither, because it’s free, but I’m still not going to play.

Hey look, it’s that cat Joey Tribiani was scared of!

But we gotta keep the 1920s car design. You csn put a modern battery, and bluetooth, and inputs for auxilery audio devices, and modern stereo syatem, and gps, and all this other stuff…but we gotta keep the old car vibe.

I’d buy that.

What about me? On the rare occasion I see an advertisement, I have no idea what I’m even seeing. I saw a commercial a few days ago when my adblock failed.

A woman running through a public park. A man hidden in bushes, in all black watching her with binoculars. More shots of her running. He slips down into the bushes. Screen goes black, and then plain white text. “He’s watching”.

WHAT THE HELL AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO BUY???

You post a picture of a cute cat, and you think anyone even noticed you in the photo???

Pppssshhhhh!!!

Nah. It was absolutely an asshole problem. Yes, a car was involved, but the problem was the human driver.

It’d be different if it were a self driving car. It would be like if you used a lawnmower to mow your lawn, ran over a beehive, and tgen blamed the lawnmower for getting attacked by bees. Or blamed the gun itself for the pedestrian getting shot.

I think the fact that bots are winning makes this whole thing a scam.

Fuck that! Hang this man! Head on a pike, and mount it at Minneapolis city hall for all to see.

Like?

No, I mean not a parody. I want him to be the next james bond.

I was confused. Then I realised I was thinking of Leslie Nielsen.

Guys. We should get Leslie Nielsen to play James Bond.

In the 90s, I got in trouble for bringing a calculator to math class. You’re telling me I could have just brought bees to class instead??? THATS SO MUCH COOLER!!!

There is a youtuber who specifically makes challenges in how he can make the most fucked up city.

In one episode he created a city which had one man made lake. That became the exclusive drinking water. It also becsme the exclusive drinking water. Then he build a dam right through the middle. Then he moved the drinking water, and the waste to one side and clean water on the other side. He wanted human waste to power the dam, which creates electricity to power the town.

Are you SURE you want these people in charge in real life???

That sounds exactly like what I’d expect from him. And I’m guessing the reason he did nothing is because it would involve effort and empathy from him.

Being alive in this time period makes me want to take a Bic pen, and just…violently jam it into my eye socket, until the tip punctures my brain. Then just swirl it around for a bit until I lose all senses and ability to process thoughts. Or I might die. At this point in the timeline, that’s fine. I really don’t have the mental strength to deal with 20 years of fascism. Because I know eventually the fascism will end. But it won’t be a quick thing. And that means I’ll be into my 60s as the country regains it’s ability to not be a massive dumpster fire. Which some would argue we always have been.

So to all of the young people reading this…I want you to know that it’s easy to just accept things as they are, as they always have been as just being how things work. When I was a kid/teenager, every year my dad got a free turkey from his work at Thanksgiving. Big 50lbs turkeys. Company with over 2000 employees. Every single employee got a turkey. So growing up, I thought that’s what adulthood was. New Years day is Jan 1st, Last day of the year is Dec 31st. You work for 8 hours a day Monday-Friday, and get the weekend off. Oh, and at Thanksgiving you get a turkey, and in December you get a bonus based on how long you’ve been with the company. This was just what all adults had. Except then I find out as an adult, no, that’s NOT normal. My dad had amazing Christmas’s, and he would give the turkey to his mother to feed a thanksgiving meal of about 20 people. Thats how big this bird was. And there were leftovers. I thought it was normal and everyones parents had this.

So I know it’s easy to accept things as normal, because it’s the only way you’ve ever been raised in. So I want you to know, THIS is not normal. The idea of a secret police running around the country kidnapping legal citizens in unmarked cars is NOT FUCKING NORMAL!!! If you feel angry at these things, THAT ACTUALLY IS NORMAL. I would argue that if you read the news, and see what’s going on in this country, the healthy reaction IS anger. Everything with ICE. Everything I’m reading regarding the FCC shutting down broadcast television. Everything regarding the CONSTANT tracking and monitoring of your every move. None of this is normal. We are at a point where it’s OK to cheer the assassins, because they’re the ones standing up to tyranny and injustice. So yes, I applaud Luigi. I applaud the would be trump assassins.

And if you need a frame of reference, there was once a guy who tried planting a bomb in the same bunker as Hitler. The plan would have worked, except last minute unknown to anyone they changed the meeting room. The old meeting room had concrete walls. Meaning the blast from the explosion would be mostly self contained, and the blast becomes more powerful inside that room. They changed the meeting to a log cabin with windows. This is important because the wood absorbed a great deal of the explosion. As well as the windows blowing out, and the bomb is no longer self contained. Now outside is part of the blast radius. So Hitler survived. But we don’t look back at the assassin as some evil person. He was trying to do the right thing. This is where we are.

So I need you to understand, no matter how used to it you are, NONE of this past 10 years has been normal, and I really wish you could have grown up experiencing a normal world without orange faced pedophile rapist terrorists being a constant presence in our daily lives. I miss when politics were boring.