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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 21st, 2023

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  • When I was a little kid I asked my grandfather one time what it was like to “fight evil”. His response was something along the lines of “I didn’t fight evil. They were just a bunch of scared kids doing what they were told. Just like me.”

    My grandfather fought in Europe, but Japan was still what kicked off WWII. So, I was super nervous about bringing home the woman that would become my first wife for the first time. Her family was from Okinawa.

    When we got there he sat down at the kitchen table and talked to her for a long time. I was in and out doing stuff for the dinner, but they looked happy enough. Later that day he caught me outside and gave me a hug. He told me that she was a good woman and I’d be crazy if I didn’t marry her.

    I really miss my grandfather. He was mostly a good dude.

    Here’s a picture of him during the battle of the bulge. It’s from a book I have, but this picture was originally published in “Yank” magazine. The original clipping sat over his chair in the living room my entire life.


  • So, for anyone that’s curious, testicles are weird pain wise. They have a lot of pressure sensitive nerves on the surface of the testicles themselves. But if you, for example, were to hypothetically push a needle like object into the center of a testicle. You would feel the pressure of the needle pushing on the testicle, but once it pops through there is very little sensation at all.

    Edit: Even though this is true this is NOT medical advice. Do not do this as it could have potentially serious consequences. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this, but here we are.


  • Ahhh I see. Well I’m not gay, but I’m not really straight either. However, I never picked anyone up from the gay bars. This particular gay bar was a private club. That means that when all the other bars closed at 2am. This place was still open. Hell, this particular gay bar was open on Christmas morning. I’ve gone in there on Christmas morning and it’s just 3 people sitting there me included.


  • Honestly, I felt like an asshole not helping, and she didn’t offer them anything for their help. Looking back maybe that was a sign. But yeah I thought that these 2 guys that got her car running deserved at least a 12 pack of beer each (remember we are talking mid 90s prices). So, I gave them a 20. Plus if I’m being 100% honest. I was probably trying to look cool. It did not impress. Heh


  • Well, when she and I talked, she said that she had an arrangement with several bars around the city. Where she would buy those test tube shots and walk around and sell them. Then give the bar a cut of the profits. She went to gay bars and country bars, and dance clubs.

    I think the seedy gay bar part says more about me than her if I’m being honest. Heh.



  • So, one day I’m riding down the road. I’m like 17 or so. I see this super hot red head chick broke down on the side of the road. At the time (in the mid 90s) I was driving a 73 Volkswagen super beetle. Because of my shit car I knew what it was like to be stranded. So, I decided to pull over and see if she needed help.

    I get out of my car and immediately realized that these 2 greasy looking middle aged guys were working on her car. I told her I just wanted to make sure she was ok. But it looks like she already has help so I’ll leave.

    That’s when she says “Wait, your MJGS right?” I’m like,”Why yes I am”. She says “I’m Stephanie smith we went to school together.” She then says “Please stay, I don’t know these guys and I don’t trust them.”

    I agreed and we talked for close to two hours. We laughed and talked about what happened to people we went to school with. Everything was perfect.

    The two guys got her car running and left. I gave the guys like $20 or something for their help. It was all I had.

    So she and I go to leave, and I stop and ask her if I can have her number. I figured we could go out sometime. After all we had just had a great time chatting it up.

    All of a sudden like someone poured cold water over her head. The smile was gone and she looked me in the windows of my soul and said “You used to make fun of me in school.” I said “I swear I don’t remember that, but if I did I’m sorry.” She said “Yeah, you were a real ass hole to me fuck you. The answer is no.” That was one of the only times in my life I was left speechless with my mouth open. I just bowed my head, got in my car, and drove off.

    I guess the moral of the story is. Sometimes making a joke at someone else’s expense may not be a huge deal to the person making fun. But it’s a big fucking deal to the person on the receiving end. To this day I don’t remember ever saying anything bad about her. I’m not calling her a liar. I probably did. I just don’t remember it.

    I didn’t escape school unscathed. I had people that were super shitty to me too. But that’s a different story. For a different time.

    I ran into that chick again about 6 years ago. In our mid 30s. She was a “shot girl” in a seedy gay bar. We talked about the good ole days for a long time. I did not ask for her number again.


  • MuhammadJesusGaySex@lemmy.worldtoMemes@lemmy.mlMACHETE
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    6 months ago

    I thought it was Steven Seagal.

    I only know 2 things about Steven Seagal.

    1. Steven Seagal is a Russian shill.

    2. One time Gene LeBell choked Steven out so hard, that Steven Seagal shit his pants.

    Those are the only 2 things I know, and need to know about Steven Seagal.