It’s called Murphy’s Law. The best way to get an answer is not to ask the question but to say the wrong answer.

When Jean-Marie Le Pen, founder of the French Nazi party, died, the presidency made a press release which was essentially “condolences to the family, history will be his only judge”. No need to praise him.

Hardware keys use biometics as a password to unlock a key or OTP code. Your fingerprints never leaves the device.

15.7 billion miles (168 AU)

Americans will convert their miles to every yee yee ass unit under the sun before using metric.

Agreed. RAID is useless. Your drives will never fail before you’d want to replace them with larger ones anyway.

From the article:

early signature checks from several countries found about 97% of signatures to be valid

Automattic bought Tumblr after the porn ban.

Because Pokémon fell down hard after Gen 5, and has a lot of unrealized potential. It could be great if Nintendo actually cared about delivering a good product.

inb4 “akchually Pokémon games are developed by Game Freaks”

Nintendo has the power to tell them to fuck off if their games continue being worse and worse every year, but don’t.

“États” is “States” ☝️🤓

Was? No. It still is.

HCaptcha is a drop-in replacement. Altcha is a standalone alternative (no 3rd party server needed).

There is no reason to use reCaptcha anymore.

Right? It only has 3 games and they’re already talking about a new one? They should give it a few years at least before giving up.

It’s almost as bad as Limp Bizkit’s Behind Blue Eyes.

Euthanize means lethal injection. It’s a common way to kill animals for various reasons (too sick, too violent…), obviously it’s never voluntary on the part of the animal.

1. Granted. The definition of a mile is now 1/60th of the distance travelled by light in an hour.
2. This is already the case, as matter travels through time and space at the speed of light. The speed of light is the only speed, the only variable is how much of that speed is used in space or time.

True, but it’s not satirical.

It’s from the Jerusalem Post.

https://www.jpost.com/science/article-732223

stolen devices are being sold in China for up to £4,000 each, given they are internet-enabled and more attractive for those trying to bypass censorship

I’m guessing buyers specifically want non-Chinese devices, and stealing from individuals is easier than from a factory.

Broke: This character is ambidextrous because we just flipped the sprite

Woke: Link is right-handed because we flipped the entire game

Like clockwork, tankies will call actual leftists “liberals” everytime someone mentions that tankies are fascists who support capitalist imperialism from Russia and China.