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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • The April 14 conference call, which was in response to Iran’s drone retaliation on Israel, involved President Biden, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D), Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell ®, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D), and House Majority Leader Mike Johnson®.

    Everyone except Johnson has been in agreement since February that the $95 billion Senate package MUST be passed by the House. It included $60 billion for Ukraine and $14 billion for Israel. While Johnson states he supports Ukraine, his refusal to put the Senate package to a House vote speaks volumes. To be fair, Mike Johnson is under the sword of Damocles; Marjorie Taylor-Greene has threatened a motion to vacate if the package is brought to a vote, effectively removing the House Majority Leader from his position.

    This general consensus is still not unanimous because Mike Johnson values his power too much to risk it by allowing Ukraine to receive any assistance from the United States.


  • Anyone who ate hot lunch had to eat everything on their tray, and we weren’t allowed to pass on any part of the meal because children in other countries were starving or something. Lunch ladies checked our trays before we were allowed to leave the cafeteria.

    On the days when sauerkraut was served, we’d take turns being the sauerkraut smuggler, cramming that dank crap from about a dozen 8 year old kids’ trays into an empty milk carton, so we could toss it all without the lunch lady catching it. One day when I was the kraut smuggler, lunch nazi grabbed my carton and marched me back to the table. She said I had to eat every strand of the milky garbage we’d all stowed before I could leave.

    I tried, but kept gagging and retching. I sat huddled with the collective slop at the table, crying for about 3 hours before my teacher found me and released me from lunch jail.