Countdown until it turns out that everybody associated with any competition to Musk’s companies just so happens to be a criminal Trump siccs his DOJ after: 5… 4…

Huh. Looks like I read that differently than others here: I thought for sure the family man (who cheated on all his consecutive wives), who loves his neigbour (unless they’re non-white, non-rich or non-straight), who would never commit crimes (unless he felt like it and could get away with it by buying judges and winning elections), etc etc was the one crushing actual christian values.

I feel like this picture would benefit from putting all the steamrolled values there in quotation marks.

“WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN DO YOU WANT THE TERRORISTS TO WIN?? Now shut up and give us your private data and let us control your access to ‘your’ games.”

• Sony boss

“Fuck that particular con, I have a president in my pocket now.”

Which oune wold yo souggest?

Maybe she’s Canadian.

I’m not autistic. Everybody else is just weird.

He now has to pay a recurring subscription fee to be allowed to push that rock. Also missing a day would reset his winning streak.

This is a PR nightmare.

A million seconds is a little over 11 days.

A billion seconds is a little over 31 years.

Billionaires should be required to count out their dollars individually every few days.

More likely scenario:

People vote politicians who’ve been bribed to use taxpayer money to fast-track research into ways to enable AI to make people dependent on corporations while keeping the people docile and then squeezing them for all their money which is then used to enable the lifestyle in the comic for the corporation top knobs while keeping the wage-slaves free-market-empowered labourers too fed to die but too hungry to think about anything other than being grateful for the scraps they are allowed by their AI-fuelled overlords.

So basically the status quo, only now with AI. Yayy.

*Hannibal Lecter

“Go on, eat me. See what happens.”

“I’ll digest you!”

“Frank, this is the third time this week. Just admit you’re into it.”

Sure, you go and “curate” and put only half of the donation in the exhibition area and it’s “fine” but when my zoo gets a panda on loan and I decide to do the same, everybody’s all mad all of a sudden.

At least they can finally admit that they are not a car company.

Sounds like it’s more hassle than it’s worth.

Eh, just throw them over your shoulder and you’re good to go.

Kermit absconding with a bag full of all the victims’ money.

Frogecoin crypto incoming

Your mom.

Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

Wait, it not masking any sense has never deterred anyone from making a your mom joke, so it’s fine after all.

Wait, that’s actually a pretty grim appraisal of the state of what is considered to be humorous.

In that case, I’ll go with my sweatpants instead, if I may.