Today’s my last day at this job before starting a new job on Monday. In addition to making the rounds and discovering how much people have appreciated my time and will miss me, one of my favorite people I deliver to gave me a painting she had made for me that will now be the first decoration at my new desk.

Next stage is some amount of time away from video games.

The stage after that is nostalgia: someone will mention one of the games you loved back in the day and you’ll think “That was when I was happiest. I should find out how to play that again.”

Then you’ll find some way to play it, whether by cobbling together some emulation software or buying some As Seen on TV handheld game that includes your game and a hundred others.

You’ll scratch a little bit of the itch, but decide to start checking out the current video game scene.

Once you realize everything now is too flashy and fast and annoying or it has some dreaded multiplayer requirement that you no longer have enough friends to fulfill and the public rooms of the game are filled with a bunch of children.

Eventually, you’ll stumble into the future’s version of Stardew Valley and be content just building quiet little worlds by yourself.

That still sounds like Andy Dick

“After all, just look at what AI did for me in this photo!”

This is soup for my family!

Do jump scares count as surprises? If so, then frequently.

I feel like this implies that since the fox can’t take away your pain, it’s just going to stay on a cliff staring at the stars instead.

“Now everyone please turn to document number 43298 in your packet entitled ‘Facts About Your Mother.’”

Well sure, if you don’t take the ferry

Long live the king.

The superior way is to eat it like corn on the cob. Start at the pointier end and chew straight back to the mangonus. Don’t forget to smother it in butter after shucking the husk.

I assume every one of these is just the song “Muskrat Love.”

Yeah, I’ve never seen any of his videos but I know his name when I see his face, know he has a candy bar, and some kind of TV competition on Prime. I’d put him up there as at least the same kind of famous as Kardashians.

At least now I’ll be able to outfit my current American Girl dolls with some proper shoes instead of the current garbage out there.

“You are a babbling fool and we have built a temple to madness.”

Well, yours has been up for over four hours so you should call a doctor.

POWER WORD KILL!

I think a little more like Yankees/Red Sox in baseball. Two things that basically seem the same to outsiders but which have their own devoted/crazy followings.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers. Wait. Did you say “on Reddit” or “with a mouthful of peanut butter?”

I’m guessing it’s all down to sports. “I’m a Christian, so that means I’m on Christ’s team. Obviously Christ’s biggest rival is Antichrist, so I have to be against him too. Booooo Antichrist!”