I’ve started a fire in the kitchen. Not by messing up, but by using a toaster built in the 1950s and designed to toast bread as a secondary function to killing you. It was thirty seconds of horror, and then things were okay. The toast was in the sink under a stream of water and the toaster was unplugged.

It’s important to realise that even if a fear comes true, things will be okay. Get a kitchen-suitable fire extinguisher. Learn to use it. Don’t use death as an ingredient like I did. Understand that even if things go wrong, you’ll fix it. Your ability to deal with shit is bigger than the shit you have to deal with.

That would have to be the manager who complained to my manager that I was too friendly and wasting his time by saying hello and asking how his day was going every time we talked on the phone. 😐

I’m gonna be the cynic and say it - I think what we have here is a scammer hoping people will reach out with donations.

The account didn’t exist before this post was made. OP has a 76 IQ but uses perfect sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, paragraphs and five-syllable words like qualification. My spidey sense is tingling.

I have a similar story. One of the security guards was found to have a hard drive full of BDSM porn. When interrogated about it, she said “It’s not pornography. Those are my holiday photos.” And sure enough, she was the one holding the whip.

The compromise reached was that she wouldn’t put her holiday photos on her office computer any more.

A lot of the time I’ll read a thread, realise I have nothing useful to add, and move on.

When people let their phones ring endlessly. For God’s sake - either answer it or mute it, don’t just ignore it!

Especially when I have socks on.

Living dangerously there, aincha?

That expression says “My calculations were off, and not just by a little.”

Last week I moved the cheesegrater so I could look behind it… for the cheesegrater.

I think you mean Bil the Galactic Hero. Two L’s is for officers only.

One of my current co-workers. In his previous job, his company had him managing a warehouse by himself. Doing all the work, including the jobs that by the company handbook required two people and protective gear that they also didn’t provide. When they were finished with that place they fired him for ‘working unsafely’.

Not his responsibility, but still a dumb way to get rid of an excess employee.

I’m glad my school uniform wasn’t as formal as that one.

Well, I shoot myself in the head a lot. It’s a habit I’m trying to – whoops! There I go again.

I had no idea it was such a mystery why wet dogs shake themselves dry.

What do you think of me eating the last of the chocolate when my SO used the last of the milk?

I see some of the strangest questions in the sub. Objectively awful thing that only benefits a morally bankrupt few - yes or no?

I certainly did. Rarely managed to get more than 5 - 6 hours sleep, spent half my time in an exhausted daze.

What for? We haven’t used up the old one yet.

Get killed in the background of Attack of the Clones like everyone else!

I’ve been downvoted by someone who wants to have sex with their time-clone! Or possibly a kinky Lower Cretaceous butterfly.