I guess this is me now.
A bunch of people in here without something solid two feet to the left of them seem to be assuming that there is a perfect them-shaped vaccuum that they will be teleported into. That’s not the case. There is air there, and you’ll be just as dead as the guy sitting next to the family refrigerator.
Unless you are an astronaut currently in space, the only correct answer is “dying of multiple simultaneous embolisms, with or without widespread traumatic amputations, and ‘gross dismemberment’ (SFW, only text) from instantaneous pressure changes inside the body.”
Presumably, teleportation is a bidirectional process, and everything that was occupying the space you now take gets teleported to your previous position.
Solution: telefrag everything.
My dog and I are now one. We have become, dogperson. All the bipedability of a person, with the infinite compassion of a dog. We are unstoppable.
Ed… Ward…
actually just turns into werewolf, hungry for flesh
i am telefragged as my head is now inside of a table
IIRC the way telefragging works in Quake is that the thing occupying the destination gets telefragged. I think that you’d be okay and the table would be seriously messed up.
I’m inside a wall now
Dead I guess, bricked inside wall
I am now sitting on the exact same bench in the exact same position except two feet to the left
Same, except it’s a sofa and I’d have the TV remote up my ass.
Same, except on a couch
I am now laying on my sister’s bed instead of my own.
If this happened 10 minutes ago, I would be outside of my car on the highway and that would be bad.
And that is why you don’t read lemmy while driving!
that works for this exercise but what if the prompt was “you’ve been teleported 2 feet to the left 10 minutes ago. How did this affect you?”
I would call bs. I know for a fact that I was not teleported 2 feet to the left 10 minites ago. I ain’t demented yet, darnit.
You’re old enough to own a car, but your bed is within two feet of your sister’s? Please help me understand.
We live together in a very small apartment.
My ass hits the asphalt at 120km/h, not entirely sure I will still be capable of pooping from there after that.
About half of my body is now occupying the same space-time position as my refridgerator.
I die almost instantly, the half that is left outside the fridge slumps to the floor and creates a gory mess for my partner to find.
Meanwhile, the other half of my mass is busy trying to occupy the same place as my refrigerator probably causes additional…effects. Does it explode? Does it just make a mess in the fridge? I will never know. Either way, it’s safe to say my family is getting a new fridge.
I’m falling down my apartment building’s stairwell. Ow.
I’m midway through the wall and no longer on the toilet.
I’m in a closet with way too many clothes and also no longer on the toilet
I’ll be done worrying about work today, I tell you what.
*hwat
Just squirted shit all over my neighbors floor
Part of me is outside, part is inside, and part is stuck in the wall.
