As someone who has always felt the same way, look. Time eventually runs out, and age and disease catches up to us. Hard labor wears us the fuck out. Some pain never stops. There’s only a few things that keep me going; I’m convinced that humanity needs people with my perspective on climate change and fascism. Both must be fought til death. There are also people I love who I don’t want to hurt. Finally, maybe we’ll find an alien civilization soon! And so I go on.
But there are limits to what I will fight. I’ve watched a friend die from brain cancer. I will not go that way. I’ll choose my own path.
Alright, but am still open to talking if you want. Can’t say i am in a better position as i attempt suicide a little over a year ago, tried overdosing on my insulin
But, i know that whether i was gonna through with it or not, i would still liked to talk to someone, be it that or chitchat
Also, the reason it didn’t work was a generation family heath error as you are not meant to inject into your stomach, not my parent, or even grandparents knew
Thanks,Ironically, almost everyone in my family, have admitted having suicidal thought at some point, and not like in curious morbid kind of way. This coupled with my gradma intentionally overdosing on her meds, leds me to belive at the very least is partially genetic.
Ah you know I reckon everyone past the age of 30 has probably had similar thoughts, to some degree. It’s the human condition. Perhaps not those with some sort of severe intellectual disability who cannot process that much self-actualisation.
Most people just dismiss them or never act on them.
Christmas morning in 2015 I was on a park bench hungover and depressed as fuck having slept the night in an open garage in a strange city, after drunk raging in My MIL’s house calling her horrid names after hearing her (or thinking I heard her) berating my wife because I was getting smashed on the couch.
I stormed out, hung about then tried to get back into get my wallet and passport. The door was locked so I kicked my way in and got the stuff and swore some more and left. Huddled in an carport/ garage downstairs overnight with mosquitos and rain seeping in.
Later I got up and went to a local park where everybody ignored me. I found an empty bottle in the bushes, smashed it and tried to cut my wrists but was too much of a whimp to do it properly.
Eventually called some sort of official thing and ended up in a psych hospital for a few hours. Luckily I knew someone else in this strange foreign city so called them and they came to discharge me into their care.
The police interviewed me a couple days later and my wife had said she wasn’t fearful for her physical safety so I was off the hook. I’m not actually violent as such, but I might hurt myself.
I spent the next couple weeks with my old acquaintance until our tickets were due to fly us back. Our kids were told that I had to fly back home briefly to deal with a project. I met them all at the airport and flew home in silence.
Giving up booze was my next challenge, which I did alone, angry and determined.
Recently I’ve been dreaming of an old girlfriend whom I left and have felt horrible about the situation ever since.
She’s the one I really love and I’ll die by the thought of her grace. But not before my parents die. I cannot hurt them.
There you go. There’s my story.
I’ll probably choose hanging next time.
This will probably sound inappropriate as fuck but when my family found out about my suicidal atempt, i had a talk with sister and we both joked about not finding a place to hang ourselves as apparently she also tried to choke herself with the charger USB, didn’t work.
Have talked to anyone about this before like a family member or friend
I had a mate who strangled himself with a snowboard leash but none of us ever knew whether it was actual suicide or auto-erotic asphyxiation gone wrong.
I read the tile as who do you think will, and was confused seeing this
Also
,
You ok mate, iam open to talking if you want. DM me or if you have a matrix account , iam at @barafur:matrix.org
As someone who has always felt the same way, look. Time eventually runs out, and age and disease catches up to us. Hard labor wears us the fuck out. Some pain never stops. There’s only a few things that keep me going; I’m convinced that humanity needs people with my perspective on climate change and fascism. Both must be fought til death. There are also people I love who I don’t want to hurt. Finally, maybe we’ll find an alien civilization soon! And so I go on.
But there are limits to what I will fight. I’ve watched a friend die from brain cancer. I will not go that way. I’ll choose my own path.
Love and Justice are excellent reasons to stick around.
Very kind. Almost certainly not going to happen for a few years until only non-dementia parent dies.
Alright, but am still open to talking if you want. Can’t say i am in a better position as i attempt suicide a little over a year ago, tried overdosing on my insulin
But, i know that whether i was gonna through with it or not, i would still liked to talk to someone, be it that or chitchat
Also, the reason it didn’t work was a generation family heath error as you are not meant to inject into your stomach, not my parent, or even grandparents knew
Sorry to hear that you were suffering. I’m feeling better about my recent brain spaz but I still reckon it’ll happen in years to come.
Thanks,Ironically, almost everyone in my family, have admitted having suicidal thought at some point, and not like in curious morbid kind of way. This coupled with my gradma intentionally overdosing on her meds, leds me to belive at the very least is partially genetic.
either way i hope thinks get better for you
Ah you know I reckon everyone past the age of 30 has probably had similar thoughts, to some degree. It’s the human condition. Perhaps not those with some sort of severe intellectual disability who cannot process that much self-actualisation.
Most people just dismiss them or never act on them.
Christmas morning in 2015 I was on a park bench hungover and depressed as fuck having slept the night in an open garage in a strange city, after drunk raging in My MIL’s house calling her horrid names after hearing her (or thinking I heard her) berating my wife because I was getting smashed on the couch.
I stormed out, hung about then tried to get back into get my wallet and passport. The door was locked so I kicked my way in and got the stuff and swore some more and left. Huddled in an carport/ garage downstairs overnight with mosquitos and rain seeping in.
Later I got up and went to a local park where everybody ignored me. I found an empty bottle in the bushes, smashed it and tried to cut my wrists but was too much of a whimp to do it properly.
Eventually called some sort of official thing and ended up in a psych hospital for a few hours. Luckily I knew someone else in this strange foreign city so called them and they came to discharge me into their care.
The police interviewed me a couple days later and my wife had said she wasn’t fearful for her physical safety so I was off the hook. I’m not actually violent as such, but I might hurt myself.
I spent the next couple weeks with my old acquaintance until our tickets were due to fly us back. Our kids were told that I had to fly back home briefly to deal with a project. I met them all at the airport and flew home in silence.
Giving up booze was my next challenge, which I did alone, angry and determined.
Recently I’ve been dreaming of an old girlfriend whom I left and have felt horrible about the situation ever since.
She’s the one I really love and I’ll die by the thought of her grace. But not before my parents die. I cannot hurt them.
There you go. There’s my story. I’ll probably choose hanging next time.
This will probably sound inappropriate as fuck but when my family found out about my suicidal atempt, i had a talk with sister and we both joked about not finding a place to hang ourselves as apparently she also tried to choke herself with the charger USB, didn’t work.
Have talked to anyone about this before like a family member or friend
I had a mate who strangled himself with a snowboard leash but none of us ever knew whether it was actual suicide or auto-erotic asphyxiation gone wrong.