TechyDad

I was the victim of a cyberstalker about a decade ago. This person was convinced that I was really someone else that she had a beef with. Her reasoning? We both like taking photos. (Apparently, I’m the only one posting photos online. All those pictures you see online? That’s all me. No wonder I have no free time!)

I couldn’t argue with her to let her know that she was mistaken because she had it on “very good authority” that I was lying about who I was. Namely, “God told her.” And I’m not exaggerating here. She literally thought that God talked to her and told her stuff like who was committing crimes.

Oh and I was guilty of those crimes according to “God.” I won’t name those crimes because they’re heinous, but suffice it to say she thought I was doing unspeakable things to kids. She was threatening to call my employer, the police, and everyone who knew me to tell them about what I was doing.

Luckily for me, all she had to go on was “TechyDad.” I blogged at the time, but didn’t post my exact whereabouts or my real name. The guy that she thought I was wasn’t as lucky. She contacted his employer (a school in New Zealand) and everyone with the same last name as him that was on Facebook and near him. All to tell them what he did to kids. (Again, her source was “God.” He didn’t really do anything and he had to have quite a few awkward conversations to clear things up.)

I finally got rid of the stalker by grabbing her IP address (from one of her comments) and modifying my htaccess file to report 404 Page Not Found for only that IP. She crowed on Twitter about how she singlehandedly took me down and then moved on. (I and her other targets would report her to Twitter, but she’d constantly have dozens of other handles ready and waiting and would switch to them the second her main one was banned.)

To my knowledge, she’s still out there stalking people.

Now, how would this have been different had she had my real name? Well, with a little work she would have been able to look up my location. (My name’s pretty common, but she’d find me eventually.) Then, she’d locate my employer, my address, and other information. She could send me packages or mail harassing me. She could contact my local police to swat me or just to report my “crimes.” She could contact my employer to report me and try to get me fired.

Now, I eventually did tie my real name to “TechyDad.” I wrote a book and didn’t want to publish under “TechyDad” so I used my two name. That being said, it was my choice. I definitely wouldn’t want it to be required for me to use my real name everywhere.

I like Liftoff and Jerboa. I flip between them depending on my mood.

The only reason that he seemed like a “Genius CEO” with SpaceX and Tesla was because those companies had layers of management dedicated to protecting the company from Musk.

If Musk marched into Tesla and decided that all Tesla cars should have eyeball shaped headlights, managers would tell him what a genius idea that was and that they’d get right on it. Then, they’d distract him with something else while the idea went in the trash can.

Twitter has no such management layer so every Elon Epiphany becomes Twitter policy no matter how bad or destructive it is. SpaceX and Tesla were successes despite Musk and Musk gained his “genius” reputation because those companies were able to filter out his idiocy.

Republicans seem to want to turn back the clock to the 1950’s and in one aspect I agree with them. The top tax rate back then was 90%. That should be returned for anyone making over $10 million.

Unlike Republicans, though, I think people should be free to be who they are - whether they’re LGBTQ or straight/cisgender, black or white, Christian or Jewish or atheist, or any other group I didn’t list. (I didn’t list all groups only because I don’t want this comment to be novel length.) Basically, as long as your actions affect only yourself and consenting adults, I’m fine with them.

I’m also fine with parents having some control over what their kids do. I’m a parent myself and know that as a parent you need to make judgement calls as to what’s best for your child. I wouldn’t want someone else questioning my parenting based on their beliefs. However, there are limits. If your child is LGBTQ and you try to force them to be straight/cisgender, you aren’t acting in your child’s best interests. If your 10 year old child is raped and their life is in danger, but you refuse to allow them to have an abortion because your religion doesn’t allow it, then you’re harming your child.

Also, a person’s “parental rights” shouldn’t mean that they get to decide that certain books are banned from everyone reading them. My son actually just finished reading a book because it had been banned and we laughed over how innocuous the “ban triggering passage” was compared to some stuff in the Bible.

Basically, I think I’d call myself a Pragmatic Progressive. I advocate for progressive causes, but I also realize that society can often be slower to adapt than we like. While we would love to be able to pass X and have it be widely adopted immediately, there’s often a series of slow moving battles to get X passed and another slow march to get wide acceptance. We can’t simply throw in the political towel at the first setback. Neither can we pass up 10% of our goal being within our grasp because we’re holding out for 100%. We need to get whatever advancements we can while continually pushing for more.

Great to hear! Sync was my first third party Reddit app. I eventually switched to Boost (IIRC, Sync was having some problems with image uploads and so I moved clients), but Sync was still a great Reddit app.

Even though I’m liking Jerboa, I can’t wait to see what the “third party Reddit developers” can do. The more Lemmy apps, the better!

Apparently, those subreddits are now not only open, but completely unmoderated. Reddit’s solution was to remove the mods and put nobody else in charge. I’m sure that won’t backfire in any way whatsoever! /s

Email: “Hi, this is IT. It looks like your password is expired. Please change your password by clicking this link. Ignore the weird from address and the fact that the link obviously goes to a noncompany website. We’re really from your IT department. Promise!”

Way too many users: “Yup. This looks legit. Better coick that link and enter all of my information right now!”

Thanks for posting this. It will help me replace a few more of the subreddits I loved going to with Lemmy alternatives. I might still need to go to Reddit for a couple of subreddits (one local one and one hobby one), but my goal is to reduce my Reddit usage as much as possible.

I don’t usually fault companies for messing up if they own up to their mistakes and make it right. Everyone is going to make mistakes and things will go wrong at times. It’s how a company handles events when everything goes sideways that shows whether they are good or bad.

In Reddit’s case, they could have acknowledged that their API plans were too aggressive and overpriced. They could have paused any API pricing changes and worked with third party developers to come to a solution where Reddit is paid, but third party developers don’t have to shut down due to immediate and insanely high costs being demanded. Everyone could have walked away benefiting and Reddit’s reputation (in my eyes) would have been intact. I’d likely be posting there right now instead of here on Lemmy.

Instead, Reddit decided to double and triple down. Their CEO decided to accuse the developer of Apollo of threatening Reddit and, when phone call audio proved this was a lie, blamed the developer for “leaking personal phone calls.” Then, that same CEO claimed that the API was never meant for third party apps (ignoring and trying to rewrite history) and said that any moderators who kept their subreddits blacked out would be replaced. All while claiming that the moderators should rest easy because Reddit would definitely provide tool themselves to replace lost third party tools despite no sign of this happening and trust being totally shattered. (And so much more that I’m not including because this comment is too long already.)

So Reddit messing up? That could have been forgiven had they done the right thing afterwards. But now, after completely botching the response? I hope Reddit withers away to nothing and the CEO’s IPO dreams die on the vine.

They could have even gotten third party apps to pay for API access. They just needed to set a fair rate and a workable timeline for the change.

Instead, they said “we’re charging $20 million starting next month. Good luck trying to stay afloat with those sudden costs!”

Reddit could have increased their profits and kept users/moderators happy, but they chose Burn It All Down instead.

I went back on briefly today for the first time to:

• Make sure I had read all my replies.

• Check the Boost subreddit to confirm it was going dark at the end of the month. (There was an update so I was wondering if there was some hope of it saying online.)

• Check is the two subreddits I actually still care about are closed. (One is. Another isn’t.)

I didn’t read any posts (except in the Boost subreddit to confirm that it was being shut down) and definitely didn’t comment or post anything. After that brief check in, I’m not going back for some time.

But that’s the problem. It’s easy to find people who will abuse their mod position. It’s harder to find people who will use their mod powers fairly. If the mods in a subreddit - who use their powers fairly to help foster the community - are replaced by power seeking mods who just want to force their views on everyone, then the community will suffer. People will leave and the subreddit will slowly degrade.

So Reddit could definitely replace all the protesting mods with power seeking folks. Reddit will even see a short term gain with the subreddits opened again. However, it will just reinforce people’s negative views of mods and will hasten Reddit’s decline.

It’s working for me. I typed out the address before. Let me try copy/pasting: https://redditmetis.com/

My first day off Reddit, I had severe withdrawal. I kept trying to launch Boost (my third party Reddit app of choice) despite not really wanting to. Thankfully, a focus app I installed for just this reason stopped me. I eventually moved the app shortcut and put Jerboa in its place so that muscle memory took me to Lemmy instead.

By the second day, the withdrawal wasn’t as bad. I did miss some things, but I was starting to realize how little I really cared about much of it.

By now, Lemmy has replaced about 40% of my Reddit usage. Another 50% I’ve deemed not important enough to replace. I now have only one subreddit that I really miss. I’ve found a Lemmy alternative, but of course Reddit has a bigger community.

That one remaining subreddit is still dark. (I tried to see how many subscribers it had and saw it was still dark. I wasn’t going to read any posts if it had gone back online.) If it comes back, I might stick around there, but I’ll also stay on Lemmy and will push this as a Reddit replacement. (I think Jerboa and Lemmy have some rough edges that need to be improved upon before they can truly be a replacement, but they are surprisingly close.)

It is https://redditmetis/. You put in your username and it will tell you stats about where you post and comment among other things. (Look for Top Subreddits By Number of Comments and Top Subreddits By Number of Submissions.)

Here it is: https://lemmy.world/c/lego

It’s only got 19 users now (vs over 1 million in the LEGO subreddit), but I’m sure this will grow.

That’s the one I joined. Only 19 people are subscribed there, though, versus over a million in the LEGO subreddit. It’s got some room to grow before it can be a complete replacement for me, but I’ll definitely be sticking around there.

Before the subreddits went dark, I used a tool to see which subreddits I’ve posted to and commented on the most. Then, I added in a few subreddits that I had newly joined and so weren’t represented in the data.

I had a list of 17 subreddits. I actually subscribe to over 30, but clearly the others weren’t that important to me. I’ve replaced at least 7 of those (including the top 2) with Lemmy. Most of the others really need no replacement as they were just time killers.

About the only subreddit that I really care about that I haven’t found a good Lemmy replacement for is r/LEGO. Yes, there’s a Lemmy alternative and I’ve subscribed to it, but there are few people there.

So if I do return to Reddit, it will likely be for 1 subreddit only. I’ll unsubscribe to everything else and deal with Reddit trying to push me into other discussions while I help the Lemmy LEGO community grow.

I believe you’re right. Reddit promised to make all the tools the mods need available, but gave no timeline. It won’t help the mods if their existing tools shut down on July 1st and the new, official Reddit tools come online in 2030.

But if the only thing left in the comments section are obvious bots, even real users not planning to join in the Reddit blackout will start fleeing.