I’m gonna cook so many omelets in so many kitchens 😤

And it smears into your shoe

To be honest I can’t make an omelet in a skillet to save my life. Only way I can get them to look good is on a flat top lol

And yeah I get the hype wearing off after doing it for a while but every now and then I’ll make one that I feel deserves recognition.

BRING BACK THE ORIGINAL JAKE FROM STATE FARM

“What’s a woman?”

What’s a man?

Is Kermit supposed to be the alcoholic or the person on the hotline? The face could work for either.

We put most of it inside but then put the rest on top to make it look pretty

Ah I get it now lol I just wasn’t expecting that

I don’t get this reference.

Except what the leader of Germany decides to do doesn’t generally affect the entire planet. At the same time if the leader of Germany was a racist, sexist, fascist, bigoted piece of shit hell bent on becoming a dictator I’d wanna know about every detail.

“How do I bury my head in the sand and act like none of this is real?”

This is what everyone who says shit like this sounds like. I get that it’s not your country but the fact remains that it’s still going to effect you as well.

Women create most of their own issues and then blame men for not fixing them.

Obviously I’m not saying all their problems cause men are pretty fucked but most of the problems women complain about are because of other women.

Especially when it comes to beauty standards.

Posting fast food here is like cheating lmao

Oh I understand the physiology and psychology behind it just always makes me chuckle when I think about it.

Completely unrelated but it made me think of it so now you all have to hear it.

I’ve always loved how most women do everything they can to not let people see their boobs but then they have a kid and literally could not care less.

It’s absolutely hilarious to me and I don’t even know why.

I mean agreed but again everyone else needs to treat them as such as well.

You can’t call it a death machine and then act like it’s just a slight inconvenience. That’s how you die.

Nah for me it’s the fact that people act like cars aren’t death machines. Like I get all the anti car arguments and agree with the vast majority of them except for one big one.

Get out of the way. You know cars are dangerous so get out of the way. Even if it’s inconvenient. You will lose that fight every single time so why even start it in the first place?

Yeah but they were ignoring the actual reason humans want mosquitos gone.

It’s not just because the bites are annoying it’s because they kill more people than literally any other thing on the planet.