Make friends with Luigi.
Pay my taxes and not rape children.
Yeah, yah, that’s what they ALL say.

Whoa, look at this communist, socialist person here! I bet they hate fascists too!
This should be the bare minimum response from everyone. If you can’t even clear this bar…you should not be allowed to participate.
A low bar to be sure,but it could be worse.
It’s apparently one a lot of billionaires struggle with too.
Ah, I see you are not an American billionaire.
Look at goody two-shoes over here!
give all the money to a homeless charity and then kill myself, same feelings is if i woke up and realized id raped a bunch of kids…
Take a day off?
I would invest it. Every year, I would withdraw the profits, so that my net worth stayed approximately the same.
I would throw an event in a different city each year.
I would get that money (“earned” from doing nothing more than investing it) IN CASH.
All the cash would be loaded up in a plane and dropped in a public place. It would be a spectacle. No advertising needed, word of mouth and social media would be more than enough.
At each event, I would remind people that the money dropping from the sky is merely the crumbs from a single billionaire. Money that I did not earn. Money that was taken from the fruits of their labor and added to my stock portfolio.
I would ask them to imagine how much more money billionaires are hoarding. I would then bid them a fond farewell until next year.
Oh, and also, maybe a nice condo in southeast Asia. Thailand, maybe. Somewhere chill and fairly inexpensive. Not because I deserve a nicer place, but because fuckyouallI’mrichbitchstillnotatotaldickheadthough.
Probably fuck some kids to blend in
/s
Turn myself in to a millionaire
technically if you woke up with $1 billion you can spend $1 and no longer be a billionaire, with $999 million
Two chicks at the same time, man.
That’s it? If you had a billion dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
There making a reference to Office Space.
I know. What I wrote was Pete’s follow up.
Ah my bad, I guess it’s been longer than I realized since I’ve last seen the movie.
I’m not a fan of cannibalism, but I guess waking up a billionaire would make for a good breakfast opportunity.
It’s not cannibalism; billionaires don’t have enough empathy to be considered human
Ouch!
Lots of perfectly valid answers here about decent humane things to do with the money and power, and I certainly hope I would do things like end homelessness or otherwise meaningfully improve the world.
That said.
I’d build a full-scale, 1:1 replica of the USS Enterprise, NCC 1701-D, from The Next Generation. I’d run it like the Biltmore; technically it would be a private residence, but I’d charge people to take tours. But any time I wanted, I could close it down for a few days and just hang out on the bridge or in main engineering and vibe out to the THRUM THRUM THRUM of the warp core.
But solve homelessness first, of course.
There we go, there’s the childlike wonder and whimsy we so desperately need.
Make it so! :D
I have this dream of building my own little socialist company town. where like, instead of people scraping by, we all get universal healthcare and walkable, tree-lined streets.
I have had the exact same dream. I shall note your username in case any of my crazy ideas is ever profitable enough to start a company lol
I mean you could just disregard their username. It’s disregardable.
Take notes from Bioshock and don’t build it underwater… And skip the whole genetic modification thing too, ig.
Is a man not entitled to the sweat on his brow?
Or you could just move to Sweden and save yourself some money?
First thing? Probably panic. Second thing? Probably try to wake myself up. Third thing? Probably try to find some rational way that I just got isekai’ed as a billionaire.
After it finally sank in, I’d probably consider lobbying for things before I lose touch with where I used to be. Right to repair, universal healthcare, UBI, etc…
Give most of it away to free software foundation and put couple million to an low yield ethical index fund and start packing for some traveling.

Basically spend it all making militant resistance cells around the United States, enable them to operate independently via sourcing cnc machines, 3D printers, and hobbyist electronics, then provide financial incentives to targeting other billionaires’ assets or persons and/or hate groups and right wing think tanks.
This will continue until I’m arrested, run out of funds, or succeed.
…then I’d buy a sammich.
What kind of sammich?
Roast bitch ass billionaire.
But fr, probably a pastrami… Like a REALLY good pastrami.
Yes! “Make 2500 Luigis” is the best answer.
Huh? Luigi didn’t shoot that guy…












