I’d say an average sized zucchini slathered in olive oil.

  • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
    15·
    3 days ago

    Assuming this actually solves world hunger, and isn’t a fine print scenario like that one comment suggests:

    Pretty much whatever. If it solves the suffering of billions of people, and it actually works, then you have free reign to rip me open. Hell, you can shove a bowling pin up my urethra if it means it’ll solve world hunger. My horrid pain and suffering is not worth the unimaginable pain of millions or billions of other (and trillions and quadrillions when we’re talking about future generations never suffering as we have).

    As Christians we are called to be like Christ, and while I never imagined that this would be scenario in which one suffers for the pain of all, then, yeah, sign me up. But don’t give me a safe word. I’ll back out once the slightest amount of pain starts. Got my consent beforehand, but don’t let me take that consent back. Lol

    That said, if we’re talking “how big a thing can you fit up your ass, if it’s big enough it solves world hunger, but you don’t know that yet, just what’s the max range of your asshole”

    Then, with some training, I could probably go pretty big. I can do 12ish inches with a lot of prep time (talking a couple weeks), and I got pretty brutally fucked with a baseball bat one time, that’s a little over 8 inches and not tapered, so take that for what you will

  • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    9·
    3 days ago

    If it really really came down to it I could probably fit something with a 9" circumference, though it would take me a couple hours of warm up and relaxation. I have a toy that’s 8.5" circumference that I can take, but not easily. That’s what, an eggplant? A rolling pin? A standard single serving soda bottle? Somewhere around there

    • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
      6·
      3 days ago

      I have an inflatable toy that starts out at 6.5(but is too floppy. Gotta inflate to 7" to get it firm enough for insertion). It goes all the way to 18", which is absolutely fucking insane. I’ve managed give or take 13, after much, much practice and patience and warming up. But around 9 is the extreme edge of my sweet spot.

      My other inflatable goes from 6-11, and I prefer it, but the problem with inflatables is you almost have to stand to use them, otherwise you hit the air valve on the base and they deflate. Disappointing to say the least

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.netEnglish
    12·
    3 days ago

    From my time on Reddit, I’m pretty sure that, scientifically, the largest thing anyone could fit in their ass is a raccoon.

    And I mean, is one animal’s suffering enough to stop solving world hunger? I don’t think so.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      6·
      3 days ago

      Whoa whoa whoa whoa…whenever I talk about how humans are the weirdest species thats ever existed, I always include this line:

      “Like, you don’t see bears out in the wild, hunting down live mice, which are then kept alive and used for the sole purpose of the bear shoving the live mouse up it’s own butthole for sexual gratification. Bears don’t do that. No animal does that. Only humans have been known to shove a mouse up its own ass just to feel it scurry around inside them.”

      That line usually gets equal amounts of cringe and laughter. But it proves my point about how weird humans are.

      And now you’re like “uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh…hey, let’s use a raccoon!”

    • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      5·
      3 days ago

      Coconut oil is what I recommend for an oil for lube. Both solid and liquid work well, the solid formwlts easily with body heat. It smells nice and is also good for your skin!

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
        3·
        3 days ago

        I generally recommend condom safe lubes so you can use toy protectors for anal play, but if you’re using oil coconut is the way to go. Always keep some on hand. Great shelf life, too

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
    5·
    3 days ago

    Well now hold on. I have some questions before I commit.

    What part of this action is solving world hunger?

    Because it seems to me this feels like one of those fine print situations. You stick a bunch of giant painful humiliating shit in your ass, and a bunch of wealthy elite assholes laugh at your suffering. The next day you read that people are still starving in other countries.

    So you go and try to find out what the fuck is going on. That’s when you find out that the contract was only good for making sure that enough food for everyone on earth is PRODUCED. And it is. It always has been. Nothing in the contract states anything about that food then being evenly distributed.

    In essense, we’ve always made enough food, and then throw the bulk away. This whole big thing up your butthole contest was just a scheme by the the elite to laugh at plebs sticking bowling balls up their asses, and ripping their anus open. That’s their version of comedy central.